Are we operating under the belief that Full House was a *good* show? I just want to be sure about the ground rules here.

Agreed. "It's pretty to look at" really only goes so far, doesn't it?

I should have said "hour" singular. It's clear from both of your reviews that it almost certainly won't work as a continuing series. But Phil obviously didn't even think it was a strong pilot.

So it's either one of the best or worst hours of television. Got it.

C seems like an awfully generous grade
Especially given the content of the review.

Then again…
…if Jennifer Aniston beats O'Reilly in the ratings — and I suspect she would and has — by his own logic, her argument is more valid than his.

I will be horribly disappointed…
…if someone does not actually make this group of murderous human prisms movie. May I suggest The Deadly Spectrum?

The copy editor in my doesn't want to nitpick…
…but shouldn't that be "…than Where The Wild Things IS."

Nothing special
I thought it was funny, don't get me wrong — going that extra mile and casting Alan Thicke as himself was great, as was just about everything in the stakeout van…I mean station wagon — but I can't shake the feeling that this is pretty tired sitcom territory, elevated by strong performances and some…

Community college dorms
Most schools don't have them, but a few — and maybe Greendale among them? — do:

Cuthbert
So…no cougar for her to face off against this time, huh? Oh well.

Padgett
Yeah, Lewis Padgett was the joint pseudonym of Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore.