Christina Hendricks has some really nice hair, and forehead, and eyebrows, and eyes, and nose, and lips, and chin, and neck, and shoulders, and collarbone, aOHMYGAAWWHDDD…

I've also had people rip off my shtick before, and it also hurt.

Chocolate. Don't believe me? Try it.

I keep my shit in a plastic bag, which I carry in a fanny pack. I haven't lost it once.

…but it looks better.

This article gave me asthma. I'll go buy one now.

RYAN GOSLING IS YOUR FATHER

You're the master!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Compensating? lolololololol nudge nudge

Not much of a boob man myself, so I hadn't noticed, Prick!

I googled the sex scenes. It's no Y Tu Mama Tambien.

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus But I don't have a boat… [dreams crushed, settles for "leaning" on Empire State Building]

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus I'll be touristing the fuck out of NY at the end of the month and I just might do some Broadway…

My lower body strength is ample enough to swing my upper body as a weapon!

Yeah! They don't put it up for us!
peasandcarrotspeasandcarrots

Raiden doing the splits, harp player, Alhpa 5, giant comma, Homestar Runner, slanted winky smiley face, slanted smiley face with dimples, slanted smiley face with dimples penetrated by surfboard, dick'n'balls, stick man hiding under a bed, two exclamations, sideways mischievious face, SPIIIIRIIIITO BOOOOOOOMBUU, three…

@avclub-0ae7484a9f3bbd2a21df420050c032ae:disqus Nay. I've only seen redfish bluefish.

That's fucked, man. I was thinking I'd finally have a friend to take me to Sea World.

Yeah, beating up some douche I don't care about is the first thing I would do if I could possess Rihanna.