Screw it. That's good conservative-old-guy-owns-young-douches stuff right there.

Do we all have to charge our phones using Anker products?

You mean like "What is your ranking of Coen Bros. movies?"

There, there.

"You’ll also have a lot more power to flag those things, and more influence over who’s allowed to keep commenting; no more waiting on an antiquated moderation system that doesn’t have the necessary support behind it."

"You’ll [have] more influence over who’s allowed to keep commenting; no more waiting on an antiquated moderation system that doesn’t have the necessary support behind it."

I ADORED the Old Man's solo, "Fucking Furnace."

I grew a beard as soon as I got out of high school (dress code wouldn't allow it before) so I could disguise the fact that I have a huge round pumpkin head.

I used to work with a guy who had a six-incher (heeeeheeee!). We team-taught a class together. When he'd get all wound up, he'd grab that motherfucker and twist it into a tight rope.

"when it gets like that you have to use beard oil, brush it, go to the barber to have it shaped,"

My wife plays various lotteries for the cheap fantasy rush. When we're at the beach, she asks me which house I think we should buy with out winnings. Then she starts describing how I can buy myself a chaired professorship at whatever university I like.

SWEET JESUS, THE AVCLUB IS SWITCHING TO KINJA!!! WHY HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THIS BEFORE???!!!

Then fuck them, not the movie.

I was about to upvote you, but why waste the effort?

Isn't part of the appeal that people hate-tweet these things live?

No. A Christmas Story is not a musical.

Todd Haynes directed what might be the most artistic, novel music documentary ever right out of the gate.

They haven't been the same since he left.

A kid submitted "The Lumberjack Song" to my college literary magazine. The editor had never heard of it, so she printed it. She had to print a retraction next issue.

SC does. KY doesn't/