My soon-to-be brother-in-law insisted that we go to Hooter's for his bachelor party. It was uncomfortable for all of us, especially the wait staff who are apparently trained in dealing with hollerin' and boob-starin' but not guys who are firmly committed to interrogating the hegemony of the male gaze.

He was on the sidewalk at the time.

Chronicles could easily have won that Pulitzer for Dylan.

Any who co-wrote a song with a Nobel prize-winner?

Alumni was used as a singular noun at least twice in that clip. My wife does that, and I love her anyway.

This is all just a charade. They're trying to get Randy Newman to release "Short Dick."

Do you think he can suck his own dick and kiss Trump's ass at the same time?

♫ Thunderbolt and lightning, equal division of community property ♫

If by "hump," you mean fellate.

He's on the Board of Trustees at the University of Louisville!

Please see Brickstarter (right up there ↑).

Chicken with honey mustard. I do this while watching Jeopardy! to ensure that my wife runs from the room to leave me in peace while I commune with Alex 'n' the Nerds.

Duh. Because it lets them diss entire geographical regions and their people.

What parts of the South do you frequent?

Now you're just making it sound gooooooooooooood.

I … may have done butter shots.

Consumer tip where I live, which is Pizza Fucking Hell Hell I Say: Papa John's (the best pizza within forty miles, no shit) asks when you call whether you want garlic butter. If you say "Yes," they add $.75 to each pizza. If you say "No," they don't add anything, but you get the garlic butter anyhow since it's already…

God, I hate giggling musicians videos.

For that matter, Webster incorrectly answered "THE Talking Heads."

I would have accepted either Creedence, Creedence Clearwater Revival, or CCR. Not Creedence Clearwater.