Who would have fee-fie-foe figured?

I've *been* 42 since last September. Pushing 50 is the only exercise I get.

You'd better keep a spoon handy as well.

I've been told by a couple of degenerate dairy products that gin makes a man mean. What it does to toddlers is fucking *hilarious*, however.

A messy desk means you're actually *doing* something. Good luck!

Do not, under any circumstances, play Russian Roullete with these people.

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is a *war* room!"

Thanks!

"Not with that sumbitch Reagan in the Whitehouse. They say he's a good man, but I don't know…"

Put-Zer-Candle-BECK!

…And I'm glad that all of you children were here today to hear that *authentic* frontier gibberish.

"Like?" You "like" booze? How do you feel about your *mother*? Your Sweet, Sweet Mother of Darkness and Ease…
So, do you guys think I have a bit of a problem, here?

Perfect time for some gazpacho. Which reminds me, I need to make/buy (probably buy 'cause I'm lazy) vegetable stock.

R.A.M.O.N.E.S., Ramones! All-time favorite band. Props for Bad Religion, too, Mr. President.

"You'll enjoy this. It's dreadful but it's quite short."

Gotta be Blazing Saddles for me.

Lt. Col., I'd like to talk with you about a certain "not providing your battalion with any live ammunition" incident in 2009…

You only said that 'cause it rhymes with jisim.

Well, wash your hands, for fuck's sake…

Look, my cat already *raped* my Roomba like a sexually-deprived Mongol warrior. They're living together quietly and not causing any trouble. Who am I to judge?