True. He might have not been crazy.

Yup. I figured that out by book five as a kid and went, "Okay, next!"

I saw The Lovers on Monday, which I really enjoyed, but I felt like the third act was strained with a very one-dimensional character to drive the conflict. It's not the most disastrous third act I've seen of a movie in the past year—hi, The Little Prince!—but it did keep me from loving the movie.

How do you feel about thin-crust pizza? I highly recommend Rocco Ranalli's in Lincoln Park, which has fantastic outdoor seating. It's beautiful in the summer.

I just finished rereading Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, which is still great. I am now moving on to A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro, which is about Sherlock Holmes if he were a teenage girl in present-day America. It's by a woman, so it might not suck and it was $7 at Target.

Sex Criminals.

Lakefront Brewery's El Wisco is surprisingly good, especially with a lime wedge in it. (My bartender friend is very quick to point out he finds the name very racist.)

I'm working on a short story about a man who is old and can't find women to date, but he falls in love with a drag queen named Yugatta Buratta who doesn't reciprocate his feelings and invents an elaborate relationship to seem less lonely and pathetic.

I have a job interview tonight and I had one on Friday so I'm not struggling to find work in the summer.

I have had multiple conversations with the non-crazy people in my city about how Clueless is amazing.

FUCK THE OFFICE THAT MANAGES SUBS FOR MY DISTRICT. They pulled me from an assignment this morning and locked me out of teaching for the rest of the year. I called them and then they refused to put me back on my assignment because of a policy that doesn't exist in our district, but calling my union took care of that.

Congratulations!

My mom is out of town, so none of her delicious vegan kabobs—grilled pineapple with coconut whip for dessert is phenomenal. Instead, I made some carbonara that turned out very well since I've never made it before.

Bumble is the fucking worst. Even Surge, which is basically what would happen if Tinder and Grindr had a baby, is better than Bumble.

Sometimes when I'm feeling sad I just rewatch the scene where Doris comes home and chastises Dom about the twink who is singing "Defying Gravity" in the shower.

But it blows my students' minds that I don't own a TV and I watch it all on my computer and tablet. They even frame it as, "HOW DO YOU WATCH SPONGEBOB?!"

I just had to look at my shelf and I realized I'm a massive snob. Sherlock Holmes and, as Orson Hyde and ShulkieSmash said, Vonnegut are great places to start. If anyone says Ulysses, I will personally come over to their house and punch them.

I had a parent who asked me once if it was a problem he read books featuring Lego properties like Ninjago to his son. I stood there for a moment because I thought, "Why would it be a problem? You're reading to your child and that's all I care about. It's even better that you're giving him books he'll like!"

I unapologetically love Elephant and Piggie books, and those are intellectually challenging for a four-year-old. On the other hand, with my occupation, I need to know what books are good for students.

Exactly. I believe John Waters once said that if someone doesn't read, don't fuck them.