I'm working on it, especially because I need a letter from a mental health professional in order to change my name. If this tells you how useless my therapist is, she just keeps suggesting that I'm subconsciously in love with someone and that's the root of all of my neurosis. Last time she suggested that I responded…

This is why I don't sub in the suburbs. (Also, the pay is better in my city.)

I once had to explain to a new hire at a company who Sideshow Bob was because I had a Sideshow Bob action figure at my desk. I should just send a picture of Sideshow Bob.

That surprises me because I remember multiple times where bags have been left at L stops in Chicago and the entire city panics.

It's similar to Tinder where I've "matched" with 21-year-olds who say they go to college in my city, but they're really 16-year-old suburbanites.

I had posted a few months ago that I had finally accepted I'm not a woman and was living as a non-binary person. The upside of this has been that living outside of the male/female binary has made me realize, "Holy fuck, I really feel miserable living as a 'Ms.' and people using female pronouns for me and me wearing…

I find any of their dissections of episodes to be very insightful. I was catching up on episodes I've missed and the episode on "On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister" acknowledges it has a lot of laughs, but fails as an episode of comedy writing.

I've taught high schoolers who will come up to me and say, "Hey, have you seen Coraline? I saw that as a kid and that shit was scary!"

There's a really interesting interview with the guys behind Worst Episode Ever where they discuss the evolution of their podcast: https://www.goombastomp.com…

1. I had Kimora with her Sensuous Death Flop as the worst lipsyncher of S9 before tonight.

I always look unhappy. The middle school and high school students I taught this week kept seeing me and saying, "He looks mean." But then also added I look like Eddie Redmayne in "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them."

My mother, a retired math teacher, just flipped a table over because someone abused the acronym STEM.

I had this conversation on my Facebook page a few weeks ago and all of the gay men I know said I have it easy because I use a strap on, which means I don't have to worry about my dick becoming flaccid.

I had a very uneventful day at work. No students threatened to stab other kids or actually assaulted other students. I also got my oil changed and watched Law and Order. Life's turning itself around.

Oh God, I'm so sorry!

At least it's drawing that?

Will do, although chances are the next time I have a shot of getting laid will be next month in New York.

He did bring me ice after filling the ice bucket in my room.

I'm actually confused because I never dated the dad's son. I had wanted to and I actually haven't spoken to him in months. In fact he showed up at a coffee shop where I was writing last night and I left immediately. (See also: "I don't want a thing like you around my sons, especially my oldest.")

Thanks. I did walk into the coffee shop where his youngest son works just to spite him (and then I realized I shouldn't fuck around with this guy because straight cis white privilege.)