1). My first boyfriend licked my left shoulder during foreplay. It turned me to melted butter every time.

Seriously. I understand why the subscription is so expensive, but it actually deterred me from subscribing. Crashpad was on my list of porn to subscribe to because the previews are up my alley, but I ended up opting for just supporting A Four Chambered Heart on Patreon to get access to their porn. Either way, I'm able…

That kind of reminds of an episode of Gossip Girl where there's a joke about German Klaus or Swedish Klaus.

It wasn't this guy's first priority.

Yeah, I learned that the hard way.

That actually makes a lot of sense regarding the letter writer. I've heard from a few of my gay male friends that a lot of women who just have guys who like doing anal think, "Oh my God, he's gay!" So that leap of logic from an immature and inexperienced 20-year-old seems about right.

I had to not judge my mother's boyfriends when I was in high school, which I failed miserably at doing when I told a guy she dated to "write something good" when he asked me what play he should write next.

That actually sounds kind of awesome.

Mine is public sex. I'm incredibly timid and try very hard to have sex in a way that makes it private. Even after sex, I will throw on underwear and a sweatshirt if I have to move to a room where the blinds are still open. Hell, I even had a conversation with my current sexual partner about how we feel about nudity in…

I kind of feel like Dan is all over the map on the second letter, but I really want to know how the writer is bringing up the Craigslist incident. How do you bring up an incident of infidelity after an apology?

Bonus Story

The Adventures of Other Guy

Not enough Roberta Colindrez.

But can you tell us What's Rita Ora Up To?

I got kicked out of my high school's gifted program because I wanted to research the policy failures of the Chicago Housing Authority and I was told it was too advanced. I have an exceedingly high IQ, speak German fluently and have since Kindergarten, where I was sent to the principal's office of my elementary school…

"Murders and drunkenness shall follow you all the days of your life." "Love you, too!"

That kind of reminds me of how my grandmother always called girdles "der witwenmacher," or "the widowmaker."

That and us having spent time together before this does make it easier. I can at least frame it as, "Ultimately, I'm still me." It feels a lot less high-pressure than if I'm explaining it to a potential partner I just met. (For the record, I didn't mention it to Holocaust Denier.)

The Holocaust denier story was so weird it feels hard to believe even for me. I'm just happy one of the teachers at my school who saw me out with him has never brought it up.

I had hooked up with a well-endowed guy who wasn't aware of his gift. He told me once he used to break a lot of condoms because he wasn't going with extra-large ones. Since that, he doesn't have that problem any more.