pony, I don't know that I agree quite as strongly about Dargis. Her reviews do tend to be on the disagreeable side, and she doesn't usually try to be funny. She just poops on things she doesn't like and moves on, which doesn't really make me want to read her reviews.

Scott's my favorite critic right now. He gives some thought and analysis to the films without getting too abstract, and he doesn't harbor a lot of moronic biases like some critics. He does seem to have grown weary of giant explosion-fests, but so have I, frankly. I'm at the point where either A) there needs to be…

Vincent "I hate everything, get off my lawn, and also nothing I write is interesting or funny" Canby? I don't miss him.

At this point, I just assume that the guy who was in Pulp Fiction was a clone of JT from another dimension, or something.

Shut up, Rick Berman!

I'm just going to pretend that her character in this movie is Hanna, undercover as a vampire.

I like how we're making an elaborate critical analysis of a 200-word entertainment news item, as if it were some sort of long-awaited novel from a reclusive genius.

Kal-Qaeda

But how many blerns did they get?

I kept expecting the camera to zoom in and out randomly whenever Duplass was on screen.

Ah, but you see, you were allowed to do those things because your PARENTS were awesome. Kids these days have YOUR generation as parents, and YOU'RE the ones who fucked everything up for us!

I think you mean "Cool Whip is a-MAZE straight out of the container"

That'll teach you to get emotionally invested in things!

"it's objectively bad"