I find a delicate combination of kisses and licks down the back to be VERY erotic.

I am very much of the "Gwen can't be happy because she writes the shittiest songs when she's happy" camp. That said, while this song is not something I need to hear more than once, it's definitely not B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

So do you just go around licking people's backs? Because that's kinda hawt.

You . . . you want him to cook her offspring, THEN raise them? Surely you meant "braise."

It is weird to me that Bonnie was calling Damon her best friend right next to Elena's body. Not that this is the first time the show has used the term "best friend" inconsistently to up the emotional stakes, but to do it right next to the dead body of Bonnie's childhood best friend was just a bit too much for me.

Or . . . why not go after The Originals when all of their sire lines were active?

If anything, both of them killed her, but he only listed Damon as her killer. You don't think that's inconsistent?

I've been waiting for Matt to flip out on all the vamps for several seasons now. I was annoyed that he said Damon killed his sister— I mean, yeah, he killed her when he turned her into a vampire, but Stefan did the actual killing. Damon just turned her for funsies and made out with their mother.

I could do without Finn, and with all the lead-up to Kol's resurrection, I wish he did something more interesting. But sending Klaus and Hayley off together should be interesting, considering how rarely we get to see Klaus be paternal. Granted, I wish this had happened without the dumb speech to Elijah, but whatever.

Totally. It's actually more interesting for me to find out that the non-Jennifer Lawrences of the world have to audition for every tiny role even and especially if they have name recognition.

OMG Jojen, right? You're totally talking about Jojen. Or . . . Jaime? Joffrey? Um . . . The Jound? I'm lost here.

OMG I fucking LOVE the Maester theories. Love them, love them, love them. But won't discuss here because SPOILERS.

Rhaegar was married to Elia Martell. He fell in love with/kidnapped/raped/eloped with (whatever happened depends entirely on which character/fan theory you believe) Lyanna Stark. Her elder brother attempted to rescue her, but he and their father were executed by King Aerys. Ned Stark declared war, and was immediately…

It is SO HARD to Google "stream game of thrones," right?

No, you're right. I just mixed them up because I'm usually plastered by the time I'm watching TO.

You know, I kind of like the idea of seeing Kol show up so he can live with the fam again. And seeing Davina interact with vamp-Kol versus witch-Kol would be pretty different. I can't imagine she would actually LIKE vamp-Kol if she knew him.

I wish they had given Connor the rest of Professor Shane's plot, actually. It would have been so much more interesting to see him interacting with Silas.

I've been hatewatching it for years. I swear they come up with a few episodes every season that are legitimately great, though. It is even more frustrating knowing they can fulfill their potential, but choose not to.

Minstrels don't talk, though.

Sometimes dead is bettah.