Have you read Isle of Women? In one of the more disturbing incarnation stories, a 14-year-old girl is ritualistically raped, exiled, has sex with a middle-aged dude, gets pregnant with his child, marries his son, then asked her priest-rapist to accept her back into the city. Her whole character arc, if we can call it…

He needs a Spelling Bee!

It's almost as if the TVD universe isn't a bastion of logic!

I didn't say that happened last season; I said Silas faked him out last season.

Klaus telling Damon and Carol that he never had to endure the transformation more than twice.

Oh, I do. Regularly. In my wildest fantasies, he and @Dikachu:disqus give each other all sorts of prolonged Eskimo kisses. PROLONGED.

I'm quite fond of the Adam Sandler account, actually. Parodying celebrities is fine. Parodying AVC celebrities is shitty.

Well, he DID date Britta for, like, 4 episodes.

Oh, so THAT'S what Glover masturbates to.

It's not her fault she has a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.

You'll never guess what he masturbates to . . .

Nah, it's fine. Everyone's a little bit racist.

That would make for a very amusing retelling of Aida.

That made me realize that Katherine is menstruating for the first time in 500 years. I'm sure part of her is thrilled that tampons and birth control pills exist.

By the way, Matt totally dug up Gregor's body and that's why there were all the muddy footprints, right? What do we think is going to happen there? If it's zombies, I might need to stop watching.

I thought Bonnie transferred his essence into Tyler so Klaus wouldn't die from the white oak stake— she did it just before Alaric stabbed him. If the stake doesn't kill him, there's no reason to transfer him over.

10. Especially because in interviews, they kept talking about how CHANGED he would be from the experience. Ugh.

Yeah, they're all Bennett Witches. Because that was obviously Qetsiyah's last name. It's SOOOOOO Greek.

I . . . THINK the white oak stake is supposed to be able to kill him? Because they thought Alaric killed him and because he thought he would die when Silas faked him out last season?

I thought it was ridiculously dumb. Like, something they just came up with so they could tease a new character named "Tessa" so we wouldn't know who she was.