Oh, the punch bowls unturded; how they must haunt you.

Jeff Bridges, because who does grizzled better?

These types of mags, wealth-porn/poorly thought-out vanity project, are depressingly common. They just don't all have the imprimatur of an NBC-humping dickcheese to get the sweet, sweet GJI attention.

That isn't bad business, that's just how magazines are run these days. Trump was just a little bit ahead of the curve is all.

There isn't a single moment in life that isn't dramatically improved by that Ice clip.

Hey, I'm a huge Magritte fa—:looks in shame at stack of unorganized comic books: Oh. OH.

Look, the only good songs about the tension of a pending marriage are Hotel Yorba and the Georgia Satellites' "Keep Your Hands to Yourself."

Is this performance art? This feels like really great performance art. I nearly got performance art-Punk'd, but no, I'm onto you, performance art.

Right. But he never beat Will Smith to death with a crowbar, so how Method is he REALLY?

Every time a Trump joke is awkwardly crammed into a story all I can think of is a sad, determined Slurms McKenzie sighing and getting on with it.

The hardest part will be securing the rights to Hanukkah Zombie.

Is it too much to ask for Bad Santa vs. The Hanukkah Zombie in a Dawn of the Dead-style war for the mall?

I still think they shoulda called it Every Day I Die The Book.

You. I like you. '90s swing revival was a beautiful period where even random bars in upstate NY were installing black and white tile floors, putting together cocktail menus and making room for wannabe Royal Crown Revue acts. I miss it terribly.

I was never into H&O, and I didn't even know that was their song, but I think we can agree that Paul Young ruins everything.

M. Doughty's AV Undercover of Run-DMC's "Christmas in Hollis." Never forget.

I love when it's finally casual racist Friday in the office.

"Rip This Joint" for the opening scene in Way of the Gun; "In Dreams" in Blue Velvet; "Mele Kalikimaka" in Christmas Vacation for the holiday take on the "Moving in Stereo" Fast Times scene.

Meantime, Vulgar Display of Power and Angel Dust were my holy trinity.

All of those made up like 40% of my high school/college listening years. Singles was a little more hit or miss, but was a big soundtrack at the time. X-Files soundtrack was damn good too.