The Mainstream Media refuses to report the truth! Bieber and Trump are the same person! Where’s the birth certificate?!?

Couldn’t be him. You can’t tweet on it.

Gee, I wonder who bought Hitler’s phone? I really, really, really wonder.

Tree of Life could have another few years. Then perhaps there wouldn’t have been fucking dinosaurs. Or Sean Penn.

I don’t know why but the tinted glasses encrazy me. And not in a good way.

I would very much love it if someone were to come up with a Trumpian version of Kim Jong Il Looking at Things...maybe Things the Donald Wants to F***?

You can also have a Trumplicker dream sequence where everyone is played by a woman, but Melania is played by Beck Bennett.

Flanking his desk are portraits of Presidents Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson.

When it occurs? It started at least a week ago.

Guys, we’re missing a real big point here: Donald’s father’s name was Fredrick Christ Trump.

“Most horrifically, if we are still able to identify horror in our daily stew of urgent and physically-sickening emotions, is that Trump hasn’t really been all that involved in the writing of his executive orders (not that he’d likely help) and didn’t mean to appoint Steve Bannon, his white supremacist chief advisor…

God I hope he’s as miserable as we all think he is. I also hope he lives for many more years, and has to live with the shame he’s brought on our country and on his stupid family name. I hope people still protest him and mock him long after his inevitable impeachment. I hope this fucker pays for the damage he’s done.

No he hasn’t. He voted for the Crime Bill (remember, the one that Hillary got shat on for just supporting, not voting for). He voted against Amber alerts. He voted for every authorization of force except for the Iraq War. He protest voted against Democratic policies meant to help marginalized communities because they…

No, he hasn’t. But it is adorable that he has snowed you into believing that.

Bernie’s “old man yells at cloud” routine may or may not qualify him as a firebrand, but I can almost guarantee that it’ll be instantly tuned out by anyone who isn’t already a big fan of his.

The biggest circle to ever jerk.

Seriously. Fascism is taking hold in America and this is what the “Revolution Leader” Bernie does? I’ve said it a hundred times but it bears repeating. Fuck Bernie Sanders.

And I will not watch Bernie rail on and on with the same talking points with ever increasing volume. It’s really bad. My mom, like many others, was at least intrigued by Bernie at the beginning of the Democratic primary, but texted me about 15 minutes into the first primary debate... “I still kind of like him but I do…

That’s a whole lot of unwatchable right there. Fuck both of ‘em.