(I didn’t star because it was okay- I starred because I hope you'r e ok and that you didn't deserve that and I hope that that guy gets food poisoning at least once a week and also that he stubs his toes en route to the bathroom)

“Gee, that came out sounding kinda creepy, Bro— did you really mean to say that to her, here in the workplace?”

That is petrifying. Jesus.

I was hired into a high end photography studio. My degree is in art and gallery management and I was brought on to sell sessions with the photographer— his clientele included mayors, celebrities, whatever. I quickly found out that he had a secret side business making “erotic art” which TBH was straight up porn. So I’m…

That does not bother me nearly enough to stop me from going through all the comments to see if there are interesting contributions as well.

My usual strategy is to turn what ever they said into something extra creepy. Like when my boss asked me to start wearing lipstick to be more presentable, I asked if he had heard about that genetic mutation that causes self cannibalism, and that some suffers eat their lips right off their own faces. He never brought…

Ugh, remember how back in the day there were like, countdown clocks for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turning 18? STILL NOT OKAY.

I’n starring the fact that she had his ass reported. Not the feet photos. Christ, that's messed up.

THEY SUPPORT WALMART BECAUSE THIS GUY GOT TWO BUCKS FOR RECYCLING GARBAGE?

That’s very sad when someone has to scrounge a few dollars worth of cans to supplement their paltry wages. Shame on you, WalMart.

I suspect they just wanted to fire him and manufactured a reason to do it.

And breast size isn’t even relevant to milk production! I was a 34B before I got pregnant and I let down like a goddamn firehose. Meanwhile a friend of mine with boobs the size of Volkswagons had to supplement with formula because she couldn’t produce enough milk.

Moms everywhere: of course I can push your buttons better than anyone else. I installed the damned buttons.

You win for Best Comeback.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Dad when I was 15: “You could stand to lose a few...” I was around 135 then...and I’m 5’7”.

I starred this, but not because I approve of your mom’s behavior.

that’s what i was thinking. discuss our dreams of becoming stars aka figure out a way to get on Vanderpump Rules.

She probably just fell in with a bad crowd and is hotboxing a truck down by the duck pond. She’ll be all right. We’ve all been there.

Can I be the wacky neighbor who’s always entering without knocking and yet it’s not at all creepy or weird?