omg someone needs to turn that into a business—you hire hot guys to come over and clean your house while mostly nude, wearing only accessories like penis swiffers and little bowties. someone get on that, it’s sure to make millions.

I am so much better than I was, but in college I “lost” a kitten for a couple of days, under my bed. And she didn’t starve.

My husband would commiserate. I’m THE WORST!

I had been hoodwinked, bamboozled, conned, duped, flimflammed.

Oh, whew, well that’s good anyway.

Then maybe ease up on the “pro-tips” when you’re not a pro?

I have had several people in my life tell me I am ‘too assertive’ this week. I find it very weird because I am not aggressive at all, but I am just very forthright, and I speak slowly and clearly to people I need to confront, rather than mumbling and avoiding like some people seem to do. Can you be too assertive, or…

Well, just no. I guess that’d be fun for your kids though. Surely you don’t think this is some great scheme everyone should follow.

I’m starting to wonder if this guy has a girlfriend, maybe long-distance or something. He obviously likes you, but he’s not really making a move either!

Looking over at you from 41 and I just want to hug you and say “Oh you sweet child”. I have SOOOO many friends that found the love of their lives in their late 30s and 40s and 50s. You’re 26! Go enjoy the shit out of that!

Ugggh! You moved from the Keys to the Bible Belt? Sweet holy hell on earth dude. I’m so sorry. My street is deadsville because there’s a neighborhood thing elsewhere, but I got my awesome Halloween jam on yesterday.

Dude! NOPE NOPE NOPE! I’m with our nephew.

Eleanor Boozevelt is my hero.

It’s probably not you. The major candy makers have definitely FUBARed chocolate. If you want something good, go to your local natural-foods store - they’ll have small-maker chocolates that are infinitely better quality.

Holy fuck, this hideous clown on stilts just walked down the middle of the street. It was a great costume and all, but it gave me the serious creeps; my nephew, who’s four, ran crying inside and refused to come out while Stilt Clown was on the scene. I was trying to convince him that all clowns are people with make-up…

Well you’re probably right about that. DS9 was boring and I hate Captain Sisko. Quark is certainly better than Sisko.

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Sadly, I live in The Bible Belt now, where Halloween is too Satan-friendly so I have no cute trick-or-treaters to give candy. My yard is the only one decorated in this entire neighborhood. I have on a costume and am alone and drinking wine because my husband has duty. I miss the FL…

So I didn’t get to go to my party after all for various Reasons. No drunk Maleficent, alas, I stayed home and hid from trick or treaters instead. In other sucky news, I’m under a quite unbearable amount of strain at the moment in my work life and family life and I’m not getting much in the way of emotional support…

I’m very sad because I can’t eat candy at all. But on the plus side, i’m home from the hospital for Halloween! And cancer-free! Yay!!!!

I’m stuck at home on Halloween writing a paper on fiscal policy because I’m a compulsive procrastinator. I know a lot of people are out having fun, so its the prefect time to write something controversial. I think Quark is the greatest Star Trek character ever, and all you Capt. Picard, Capt. Kirk, and Data fan boys…