I can think of better options then canceling it. They could for instance just make it crazy stupid.

That arm motion is called The Heliflopter

Oh great, another Scott Van Pelt story.

Q - How do you avoid a Turkish clothesline?

Rowland is also one hell of a defender, blocking shots at will. In fact I read somewhere that he led Turkey in stuffing.

Any school that puts THE in front of their name automatically wins douchiest school. For example THE Ohio State University or THE U aka Miami University.

Maybe a too simplistic idea, but couldn't the NCAA allow instances like this to have the purse be put in an escrow account until eligibility is done? Maybe it's a little too common sense.

"Sweetheart..."

How do you not mention the single actual use for the panic button? Finding your car in a large parking lot.

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…

I was just talking to my agent about tracking that thing down and seeing if we could get it sent to the house and have some fun with it.

*Nationwide commercial tune*

Shitting at work is a goddamned inalienable right. I'm pretty sure that's why we have unions.

Does she have decent ball handling skills?

You're the kind of Jets fan who makes it embarrassing for me to be a Jets fan.

Is it possible to bet on Wonderlic scores? Because I'd like to take the under on this one.

Yeah, yeah. We get it, Jameis. That's going to happen regardless of what she says but part of the deal is you also not talking about it.