he looks like a dang Sacha Baron Cohen character

Right, the third goal (of the match) was super offside. That second goal was lovely tho.

Defense still looks a little sloppy but it was an almost perfect start THANKS FOR JINXING US BILLY

Nice work, Twitter. Superman plays the Atom and you’re fine with it but a lesbian plays a lesbian and you go berserk.

At first I was surprised to find out that Newcomb learned nothing from the Hader incident and didn’t delete his gross homophobic tweets from 7 years ago but then I realized that he did learn and he’s angling for another standing ovation.

I broke my off-hand during a pick up basketball game and I didn’t notice until it swelled up to roughly grapefruit size. In the middle of a game it’s almost easy to think, “I’ll shake it off why not?” until it’s not.

5 hours or so after publishing this, the Dodgers used Kiké Hernandez on the mound against the Phillies. Admittedly, it was the bottom of the 16th and their bullpen was spent, but Hernandez got a first pitch line out, then walked the next two batters on 9 pitches before giving up a 3-run homer to Trevor Plouffe. It…

Just...wow. Erdoğan is a monster and I would love it if high profile stars like Özil told him to eff right off, but as you alluded to in the article, that could be dangerous, not just to him but to his family. The treatment he’s receiving is beyond gross. 

As a Sounders fan I had a completely irrational hatred of the Timbers. I may now continue unfettered.

I found footage of Trevor Bauer in his off time.

BUT HULK IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS

They’ve played him at CF before. He’s definitely got the range but I think he needs some reps to shift from potential liability to a defensive positive. He’s got that tall skinny guy lope that sneakily covers ground fast.

I hope Manny accepts that he is a generationally great third baseman and they move Turner to first and Belli to the outfield with Kemp and Joc. Taylor and Kiké as super subs.

I got the impression that Manfred’s comments were sour grapes about Trout’s refusal to participate in the HR Derby. (I’m with Mike on this one; the curse is real.) Still, nice to see the Halos stick up for their boy who, while pretty milquetoast, is awfully fun to watch play baseball.

I thought the first half was amazing. It was Umtiti’s goal that sucked all the life out of the game. The promise of goal was much more thrilling than the actual thing.

Mine was Sam Bronson and I thought maybe I could be a legit action star with that name. Or, you know, show up in a Brock Landers movie or something.

Hello fellow Austen. Hey you’re not the Russian bot impersonating me on Twitter are you? (Kidding...mostly.)

I like the new campaign aspect the games are adding. I’ve only played FIFA ‘17's so far, but as someone who loves shooters and RPGs as well as sports, it’s an exciting wrinkle to the formula. I play most of my sports games through EA Access. Sadly, EA’s sole next gen golf game, Rory McIlroy PGA Tour, has been made…

This sounds horribly familiar. 30 years ago, my 3 year old sister drowned in our pool on Easter Sunday. (This also happened in Orange County.) She was semi-catatonic for the next 12 years, enduring years of surgeries and finally succumbing to pneumonia. It was like losing her twice.

McAvoy SchmcAvoy, bring on Ruth Wilson as Mrs. Coulter.