I have nothing to add except: GIVE ME A CUP OF CLAM CHOWDER RIGHT NOW

This family is just the best family.

SUGAR ALCOHOLS STRIKE AGAIN.

but making him feel invisible and unwanted for his entire life might drive him over the edge.

Creep shaming? That's a fucking joke, right?

I know the difference is that they had hard proof that he did it, but anyone else finding it ironic that tweeting about rape gets the book thrown at you, while actually raping someone usually brings little response from law enforcement. See police responses when athletes are accused of rape.

Can't say I've ever eaten at Chipotle but I will say there's no such thing as too much cilantro.

Cue people arguing that this will cause an increase in armed robbery at Chipotle because "now, they know they can get away with it."

Yes, because getting kids to learn how to live with a dress code is, like, so stifling.

The video is awful enough, but did you read the letter from the superintendent to the teacher?

I gave you many links to other sources but you just want to take a dump in the comments here because you're mad Jezebel isn't doing what you want it to do. Why are you being so fucking silly about this? Go look elsewhere because this isn't the place for a decent analysis of that election. What's wrong with you?

Do you not understand the internet? Try going to google.com and type in the topic you are interested in and search for it. You may want to click on the "news" tab when the results come up. Then you can read news articles about the topic of your choice. It's awesome! You should try it sometime!

You think you get it, but it doesn't seem like you do. As evidenced by the fact that you're looking for election results on Jezebel.

James Woods can eat a dick.

GUYS. SERIOUSLY. THINK ABOUT THIS. The next step is that they're going to ban waving knives around in public and that's a tool I use EVERY DAY. Are you telling me I can't bring my meat cleaver to Arbies? WHAT IF THERE'S SOME MEAT THAT NEEDS CLEAVING RIGHT THERE? YOU'LL BE SORRY THEN.

Question. If it is someone's constitutional right to carry a gun, and I am in a state where it is my constitutional right to kill someone when I feel threatened (re: stand your ground states) can I legally kill all Open Carry folks. Because I personally feel threaten by all of them. And I think that their…

To me, that looks like poop-face.

Well, I don't know about that, but I do remember Joan herself made lots of jokes about her husband Edgar's suicide. She made 9/11 jokes, too.

I live in Toronto and I strangely want to volunteer to find Ms. Goodhand, but I suspect she is the Keyser Söze of this mystery.

Oh yes, I'm such a horrible person for not keeping up on all the Game of Throne merchandise. I apologize to you, oh god of the internet.