I love these guys. I absolutely love them. And I've been a Joe Biden fan since he was first elected to the Senate in the early 1970s (yes, I'm old) and when he was announced as Barack Obama's running mate I nearly had an orgasm. (Don't tell anybody, okay?)

I think Biden had veneers when he started campaigning for the 2008 election. His teeth looked different before then. And yes, for some reason Americans in the public eye are absolutely obsessed with white perfect teeth. But perfect teeth also make you look younger and healthier, which is probably why they do it.…

I'm laughing at this one ... I started at 14 with an electric toothbrush, too, and masturbated for four years before I lost my virginity. It wasn't until I was 27 that I had a partner who figured out how to "get me off." That would've been a hell of a long time to wait for gratification if I hadn't known how to do it…

I have to admit, you nailed it with #20 Mr. Goodbar, #25 Butterfinger and #30 Payday. These are my mother's all-time favorite candy bars and she's 93 years old. As for me, I'm diabetic and I like to watch.

Portrait of a douchebag.

LOL.

Actually, it doesn't look like the truck made a left turn at all. I think it was on the same road as the van (approaching from the opposite direction) and jumped the median to avoid the white pickup that was turning left. It sure happened fast, though. Holy crap.

This is an easy one. It was Apple's first Macintosh commercial in 1984 (yes, I'm old), which actually changed the direction of my life.

Oh, for Christ's sake. Benghazi.

I can't think of any program I'd be less likely to watch. This will even be worse than Cupcake Wars. Holy shit.

Why not BENGHAZI!

Judging from the photo, it's a lot more than 30. She never tells the whole truth about her weight.

Too bad Kirstie doesn't really tell the truth about her weight. The last time she said she needed to lose 75 pounds it was more like 125. She was huge. And judging from the photo with this post she's got more than 30 pounds to lose just in her face.

I'm from the Woodstock generation. That's the last time I had a passing interest in any musical festival whatsoever.

Full-fat plain yogurt may be sugar-free but it's still loaded with carbs. (I'm diabetic, too. I stay away from dairy.)

Baldwin looks depressed. Must be hard to live your life as a douchebag.

She also looks like she bought that outfit at Goodwill.

You're correct. I'm VERY lactose intolerant where milk and ice cream are concerned but have no problem at all with cheese or yogurt. Of course, after I was diagnosed with diabetes six years ago I had to give up dairy (too many carbs) so I just drink soy milk now. Believe it or not, I love the stuff.

Ah. Using your new analogy, I agree with you.

Except Cosmo isn't a sports magazine.