Empty ones don't hurt as much.

Another day, another outrage. People are just too fucking exhausting for me.

Seattle? Are you positive this isn't from Archie McPhee?

First world problems, right?

Are they all wearing Rick Perry glasses for a reason? Holy crap, that looks so weird.

Why would anybody invite this snot-head on a morning show? On ANY show? She's so disgusting.

Maybe she had an imaginary abortion.

I think Kanye looks like he's ASLEEP.

I think I just peed myself. What a pair of clueless douchebags.

LOL. I haven't thought about that brand for decades!

And two neatly folded Kleenex.

I have pajamas that look this this.

These people are weirdos. Ever Googled "clopping"?

My husband poops when he drinks coffee. In the mornings he drinks a whole 12-cup pot all by himself and poops at least four times. On the other end of the spectrum, however, he refuses to poop at the office (even when he works 12 or 14 hours) and has a really difficult time when we're on vacation. He loves our toilets…

Myself, I've always preferred TicTacs.

To show you how old I am, I used to do the same thing to Rosemary Clooney records in the early 1950s.

Oh for Christ's sake. Grow up.

I'm a realist. It's not going to end well.

Know what? It's not the school's job to ban the stupid backpack ... the kids' PARENTS should have banned it. Maybe mom should have done a little Googling to see what her precious snowflake could look like in a few short years.

Sounds like she'd do a perfect duet with Paris Hilton.