Your parents should move out.

Before I got old and fatter I could barely sit comfortably into a coach seat. I'm 5'9". If the person in front of me decided to recline (God forbid) I was squashed, unable to breathe and in pain. These days, with arthritis and neuropathy and claustrophobia and a zillion other crappy senior citizen ailments, I can't…

How do you spell heaven? H-Y-S-T-E-R-E-C-T-O-M-Y. After 27 years of debilitating periods that were technically three-week hemorrhages separated by seven days of crushing pain, I had a hysterectomy at 39 years old. The OB/gyn said I had "atypical adenomis hyperplasia" (an early stage of endometrial cancer) but I…

Love John Oliver. And he's the only reason my husband started watching The Daily Show.

I hate fetal corn. I can't eat it and I don't even like to look at it.

I don't know why Cher's so upset about this ... the version I just heard is awfully good!

Amazing. Jay-Z thinks the same thing about himself.

But the best day is still coming: retirement. My husband is four years away from retirement and has a "closing scenario" planned that includes a squeeze bottle of yellow mustard and an exit interview from hell.

I love this information. And just think ... I'm still learning about my own body at 62 years old. Holy crap.

Is Brody Jenner a thing? Who the hell is he?

Damn adorable. The Obamas are such a cool couple.

I smoked for 40 years and quit cold turkey seven years ago. I never missed it even for one day. But I'd never make a big deal out of other people smoking and I don't care where or how much they smoke when they're outdoors. I used to live in Long Beach, California, in full view of oil refineries. You couldn't smoke in…

You're right. 'Murica worships the fetus, not the baby. Once you're born they don't care if you starve to death in the gutter.

Rick Santorum is a sick, closeted fuckhead who's completely obsessed with sex, abortion, sin and birth control. Somebody needs to get his sorry ass off the national stage.

I'm definitely getting sick of Heidi Klum EVERYWHERE. She's the new Marie Osmond.

You're right, that's him. Holy crap, what a douchebag.

As much as I can't stand Anthony Weiner, this asswipe actually makes my skin crawl.

And Dancing with the Stars. Holy crap.

Years and years ago my first husband and I made a conscious choice not to have children, and he had a vasectomy. At 39 I had a total hysterectomy (not elective; I had cancer). I never regretted being childless. Never. Except everybody else went insane trying to find out why. When I'd meet someone for the first time I…

I love my husband's legs and he wears nice shorts all the time in the summer. They're above the knee. He's 6'5". I'm getting hot just thinking about this.