The Adverts - I Surrender

Can someone manufacture a program that turns Chris Collinsworth’s voice into the game music from Tecmo Bowl? Also, please list this on Kinja deals afterward because daddy can’t afford to pay full price.

I love the idea that the NFL is all-in on player’s safety when a shot to the head offsets the ball not making it back to the line of scrimmage. It’s kinda like when resisting arrest without a weapon offsets gross misconduct by an officer when they kill you for absolutely no reason.

“Riverboat” Ron goes for field goal to lose by 1. SAD.

As an atheist who was raised Southern Baptist, this luke warm take tastes of earth, magic and precious metals.

Lord Jesus, thank you for granting us the plight we have delivered upon our adversaries. For allowing us to strike our opponents with force of questionable accuracy due to our limited intelligence. For bringing us victory in a conflict we willingly partake for sport and win by birthright. We do it all in your name. In…

Let’s just count our blessings and be thankful Denver’s QB is a white guy.

You should read Great Expectations as there is just so much to get lost in. It was my book to read over and over again until I rediscovered Mark Twain as an adult. On that note, UC Berkeley’s version of Twain’s No. 44 is now my all-time favorite, and not dissimilar to the overall theme in Great Expectations. Let…

JMC - Between Planets

I’ve never seen so many holders get crushed before. Somewhere Tony Romo is crying and blaming it on the painkillers.

As someone in management, I feel like my first job is to make those under me happy and productive but I end up spending most of my time following up on bullshit mistakes made by home office. Accurate and timely paychecks used to be a given but now with cost cutting Jackie at HO has to draw up all checks by hand on a…

My favorite fantasy show.

It looks like she’s kneeling in solidarity with the kids across the pitch but good on her.

I dedicate this comment To Anacreon, in Heaven.

In 1000 years tacos will be illegal, and we all know why.

Just flip the mattress over. Knoxville already smells like a paper mill.

Way too many hot takes in here.

This is an incredibly elaborate ruse just to give someone diarrhea.

I like that it looks like Jim is about to punch Huck in the face.