Literally yelled “Showboating? You mean WINNING, MICHELLE.”

No white collar with mesh top, tie, and whip Madonna? No Material Girl Madonna (side eyeing you, Robbie Turner)? No Isla Bonita Madonna? Goddamn Derrick Barry doesn’t tongue in cheek go for Britney kissing VMA Madonna? FOUR. KIMONOS. THO.

Ugh those gifs are making me even sadder. Betty was my fave. (Full disclosure, if I were a seven ft gay man instead of a five ft woman, I would actually be Acid Betty.)

Not ONE goddamn cross earring, but twenty fucking kimonos. REALLY QUEEN?!

But she’s not up against Bianca, and up against Naomi? Girl, please.

This elimination was BULLSHIT ON BULLSHIT. Naomi Shambles has been stunningly mediocre every damn week, was kimono number effing FOUR, and Acid Betty has one shitty challenge and is done? MA. LARKEY. FRIENDS.

That is so much worse than I thought it would be. Every part of me is shuddering.

I am LIVING for this season. Holy GAWD.

Truly cannot believe how long this dumbass story has captured the news cycle.

It makes me so, so angry that so many people (predominantly white men, let’s e real) trot out Elizabeth Warren as their token woman candidate. Not only is it ideologically inconsistent (hello? she was a Republican until 1995, and we’re going after 16 year old Hillary for being a Goldwater girl?), but it tells me that…

THANK. YOU.

Okay but while we’re on the topic of reality television, I would honestly pay so much money to watch Serena Williams absolutely crush a children’s tournament and be a terrible sport about it. Let’s at least get Funny or Die on this.

IT’S NOT RUPAUL’S BEST FRIEND RACE

Cannot believe Teen Mom is getting beaten at the moment - that show DELIVERS the drama people!

Alternate solution: stop losing.

I guess I’m still just exceedingly bitter about how none of the coolest threads were ever tied up.

Jenji Kohan is like that too, unfortunately. But lord, at least none of either of their shows is LOST.

And to quote another Jez commenter, there’s only one known cure:

I mean, she does pretty well with centrists, so this just seems absurd. It is literally the opposite of what is true, which she knows, because she was instrumental in her husband’s administration’s efforts to clean up the mess the Reagan administration made of the biggest health crisis in modern history.