Petrichor!

My mother makes cheddar bacon muffins. They're so good.

Do you know who those actors I listed are? These are fantastic actors. Orson Welles did it for the paycheque, sure, but he still acted the hell out of it. You're not going to find a line in Bayformers as nearly as wonderful as "Your bargaining posture is highly dubious! Very well then. Proceed, on your way to…

Episode 3? Really? You're off your rocker. Episode 3 has major cinematic and thematic flaws, and the characters are flat, no matter how much Ewan MacGregor acted the fuck out of what he had. Hell, Natalie Portman did her best but Episode 3, though possibly the best of the Prequel Trilogy, doesn't hold a candle to…

G1 is superior to Bayformers, especially the 1986 movie.

No, I hate awful movies. These movies have boring and unintelligible action scenes, all the characters are awful stereotypes (including the developed ones, but especially the secondary ones) and the plots are more nonsensical than the original cartoon (and yes, I have seen it recently). These movies are terrible on…

These are shit summer films and your taste is awful if you think these were better than mediocre.

Yes, they were glorified toy commercials, but the writers of those glorified toy commercials actually tried to say something and do interesting things. Hell, Paul Dini, someone revered for writing for Batman: The Animated Series and other DC superhero cartoons, wrote a bunch of G1 episodes.

I want a movie I can watch without thinking that I want to throw the DVD into the wall then use it for a coaster on a table covered in sandpaper. That's what I want.

This one also has:

Robert Stack, who in the 50's was nominated for an Oscar.
Judd Nelson, who was Bender in The Breakfast Club, along with a wide variety of other roles.
Leonard Nimoy, who most people love as the original Spock.
Eric Idle, who most people know as a member of the legendary Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Lione…

Is this... is this satire? Because I really hope it is.

Gnu reminds me of Men in Tights, and that's always a good thing.

I love numbnuts.

Douche-cano is a good one, too.

I shall now call everyone "vulva-testicles". Thank you.

I like going with "eat a bag of dildos" too.

I have had to stop for a car that was already stopped when I realized it. I didn't hit him, although it was a matter of a few centimetres on a clear, dry day. This was someone who had stopped because of an accident that happened in front of him.

I leave multiple car lengths between myself and the person in front of me and drive at a safe speed. That's not driving like an idiot, that's driving safely.

I use dickbag, fucking dickbag, asshole, dick nugget, jerkface, dickface, penis breath, and a general sarcastic waving of the middle finger.

NO! GARY OLDMAN!