Thank you!

Wait, what?

Thank you for that second paragraph, thank you very much.

My bestie is a zoo curator and has lots of stories of morons who think the barriers are just in the way of their good pic. There is at least one true story of a bunch of teenagers taunting a big cat — it think tiger — and a little while later it got out of its enclosure and actually went looking for those assholes and…

Annette Bening was a fantastic surprise. I was pleased that Carol didn’t have a love interest, it’s refreshing to take my daughters to a movie that isn’t “girl finds boy” in various situations.

I share this obsession and greatly appreciate the thoughtful unpacking of the Rock’s psyche and appeal. You should watch Ballers, the last season really shows his character’s vulnerable, broken side and seeing him take on the NCAA for grinding student athletes into the ground is a real pleasure. 

The stretch mark thing is the absolute worst of the bunch. Ugh. Using IWD as a launch for your product aimed at women’s insecurities about a completely natural and universal skin trait is a special kind of cruel and stupid.

I love RHONY and this was spot on, but for the love of god “irregardless” is NOT a word. The word is regardless. Irregardless is a double - useless - negative with both the prefix “ir” and the suffix “less.” 

No. You would never have a moment where you aren’t riddled with anxiety about an upcoming deadline or fear that you’ve forgotten a deadline. This was not a smart life choice.

I had the same reaction to reading this story. So now if you’re traveling with an infant and simply bring all of the items necessary to care for that infant on a long flight - diapers, wipes, butt ointment, two spare outfits, bottles, formula, spit-up cloth, light blanket, heavy blanket, pacifier, intelligence…

I recently watched Abducted in Plain Sight, it is terrifying how young children can be manipulated into loving their abusers. The boys lied because they loved Michael Jackson, just like that girl in Abducted in Plain Sight was in love with her rapist.  

I have no idea if this is an apt analogy, but I love the description of Anne Boleyn’s scheme.

She’s from Buffalo. It is my duty as a Buffalonian to point this out about any person from Buffalo in the public eye. 

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!! This absolutely the latest thing. It used to be the braggadocios “I love giving oral” now it’s “I can make you squirt” which becomes “c’mon baby squirt for me.” And then you feel like a failure if you don’t/can’t. 

I am not thin, I fall on the high end of “straight” sizes, and have had no issues finding hook-ups on all the regular sites. But be careful, if the guy seems creepy just move on. Always meet in a public place first, even if you just really want to have sex and go home, the difference between someone’s online and…

Presbyterian

On a recent trip to Toronto I found this to be weird, the server was standing right next to me or sometimes over my shoulder while I decided how much to tip. Also, I believe, servers in Canada are paid a decent hourly wage and are less dependent on tips. Or at least that was the reason I was given for why Canadians…

I regret reading this. 

These are my people. Smart, sexy, divorced, live hard, fight hard, love hard, messy bitches. I. Cannot. Wait.

I learned the hard way that iced coffee is always sweetened unless you say “No sweetener.”