I cannot imagine a pair of twats more insufferable.

I'm actually kinda sad I have an IUD for once (except for that time my first once priced my uterus too) just so I can't say I'm "playing chicken with Jeezy every month." Well done!

Good God.

oooh! Pick me! A (probably not definitive) list of things my (now ex for obvious reasons) mother in law did before our wedding:

I did? I'm currently in the burn ward having to undergo multiple grafting surgeries after my apron caught on fire. Just made the call today to postpone my April 25th wedding. Worse than the postponement of course is the recovery, which has already proven to be excruciating. Even typing this is awful and has me in…

My husband died. I moved on eventually. Some British nobleman tried wooing me. I fell for him. We boned in a Liverpool hotel. He asked me to marry him. I said no, and then cut my hair short.

Dakota who?

Anyone who was married to a member of Nickelback must relinquish all claims to rocking.

Jesus was always fucking with people at their funerals. He would act all nice and merciful to your face and if you died He would ask to speak at your funeral like He really cared about you. Then He would get up to the podium and just roast the shit out of you with a bunch of racist, homophobic slurs too vile to type.…

So our tax dollars go to subsidize McDonald's underpaid workers, and they can't even use that subsidy to buy the crappy food they make all day.

spoiler alter… What kind of girl is this? Its a whiney, entitled, out of touch douche. That's what kind of girl it is.

Josh Brolin instead of Clive Owen as Dwight is gross and annoys me.