Bullshit! That dog has cyborg eyes! Russia obviously has secret cyborg dog plans for world domination...

I know it stole mine

He should be happy he can’t smell them. It’s a win win for y’all.

My fiance said to me today “you have loud farts, Attia, but they never smell.”

I impressed my husband when we first got together with my ability to stink him out of the room with my farts.

That is extremely funny. To thine own self be true?

It sounds futuristic and cool to me, not creepy. But, I’m dumb and naive and would certainly be the first one crushed by our new oppressive overlords.

As a woman, I totally eat big to impress a guy, and I drink big too (and ultimately burp really, really big)!

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Yes, she gives me $7,000 per post. It freaking rules.

Oh, honey, please what is this amateur nonsense. I am the Queen of Sleep. I am a sleep pro. You get an A for effort, but your execution is all wrong.

I’m sorry, but rape is a real thing and minimizing the feelings of insecurity a lot of women have is not ok. Women should be able to feel secure in the public space.

I actually got them from my mom, who got them from a woman at work selling with a company called Damsels in Defense. I don’t know if you can buy directly from the website or not, but you can check out their website.

Can you link to those on Amazon Mindymoo? I think I'd like to own something like that.

I have multiple contacts labeled “Trouble.” They’re all the exes I don’t want to talk to. I’m not tempted to call them, because who knows who I might get? As an extra bonus, I’m also not tempted to pick up when they call me, because it might be the one I’m kind of missing or it might be the one I’ve never forgiven and…

It can both be true that Caitlyn Jenner is not deserving of the Woman of the Year, and that this guy is an asshole for calling her a man.

Yes.

I am beginning to feel like you guys only report on trump to be able to out do each other on the descriptor before his name.