Who would ever give a tow company a good review?

So wait, authorities must have already known about this party because it "caused her to lose custody of her five children." Why wasn't she arrested then and there?

If I'm reading this right, Urban will average about $510,739.00 per massive conniption-induced coronary he suffers between now and 2020.

Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker?

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

Excuse me sir, but Redman is NOT an official member of Wu Tang. I feel as though by saying that he is, you are fucking with Wu Tang Clan and in case you are unaware, they are nothing to fuck with. Thank you.

Females everywhere thank you for avoiding future relationships.

“Women all turn into your mother after 3 years.”

Wait, do they all turn into my mother, or your mother? Or the mother of whoever they are dating that time? Seems like outcomes could be radically different depending on the answer to that question (and what kind of mother the dude in question has).

I think it's wise to remind yourself that love is supposed to feel good. This simple phrase has kept me away from a lot of toxic men.

Dating is such a crapshoot. Recently, I thought I met a wonderful guy who said he was a feminist, liked independent women, and intelligent (geeky) women. We hit it off amazingly well, both mentally and physically, and then he just ghosted on me. No explanation, NOTHING. I’d guess that he is seeing someone else, but…

but... what if the lesson you learned, or the phase you seem to be perpetually stuck in is: Yep. That sucked/ Never doing that again. Dying alone is the better option.

I’ve been in this situation before. To open up to someone like you never did before in your entire life, only to suddenly have the door slammed in your face... metaphorically speaking. It leaves you speechless and ashamed. And then something inside of you says “See? I told you to be carefull. You knew this was going…

Read that as “pit of Cheetos,” was very excited for a second TBH.

EXACTLY. I’d rather be burned as a witch than ever vote for a Republican candidate.

Honestly, we’re kind of screwed either way, just less screwed with her. So, whatever.

Seriously, he looks like he’s lived a ROUGH 31 years. Meanwhile, this succubus looks like she drained the vitality from him and made it her own.

Hells to the no. Teachers are not like cops, we don’t close ranks around the bad apples. Child molesters don’t deserve a second chance in the profession. Ever.

Nobody in their right mind would let this woman teach students under 18. She needs to give up that dream like yesterday

Fine? Wtf is "fine"? It's ether the best damn thing in the world and everyone should use it or it's the suckiest and should be stricken from the earth. Pick one. We don't have time for your reasoned BS response.

See? Men are just TOO emotional to be president. What if he gets into a spiteful bad mood and launches nukes or something? Men have such delicate feelings and just can’t control them, the poor dears.