Orange was clearly overmatched, where blue clearly knew what he was doing. Orange threw a bunch of punches early, was constantly off balance, and his guard was down the whole time. Blue just waited for the time to throw the cross. And when he nailed it, orange knew he was in serious trouble and it was time to…

Even the iPhones are dangerous in Australia. Damn.

Nothing. Teal is awesome. Especially as a color for your 1993 Ford Probe.

“The Uni-President 7-Eleven Lions”

Play the Oscar Pistorious drinking game: every time your loved one goes to the bathroom, take 4 shots.

“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”- Mitch Hedberg

Well I guess we can't blame Left Eye for burning the rest of the field down.

“I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.” - Mitch Hedberg

His first draft: “We are fucked. Fucker fucked us. After Westbrook fucks us we are more fucked. No good player will fucking replace them because who the fuck wants to live in fucking Oklafuckinghoma?”

This is a classic way to make your child love you more: get a judge to legally ban them from participating in a sport that they love and are really good at.

Choosing between cheering for Dan Gilbert and cheering for Joe Lacob is like choosing between gonnorhea and syphilis. Both are pretty easy to avoid, but the product that brings you in is pretty irresistable.

“Aw, man. You guessed it.” - God

To be fair, he was great in the Breakfast Club.

The knots people twist themselves into trying to convince themselves that LeBron sucks are amazing to behold.