Bugles, Pringles, jalapeño cheddar Cheetos...

This looks exactly like the fancy pillow covers my grandma had on the bed in the 80s, except hers were floral. It literally looks like a damn pillow case.

I have seriously considered installing a salt lick for when Aunt Flo comes to town. I get such cravings that a salt lick actually sounds good.

Both. I get both. My other favorite thing is how there are just so many damn bodily functions/fluids in the morning. Like there’s the rivers of blood, the weird period poops, the first morning pee, the first nose blow of the day, wiping sleep out of the eyes. Like, I’m just over my corporeal existence within the first…

When I saw my first period clot, I assumed it was where the egg was.

“Gary” is basically the perfect name for the dude in this anecdote.

“two students became verbally aggressive toward each other” and then the police modeled how to efficiently and unnecessarily escalate a confrontation from verbal to physical. On a child. Remind me again how important it is to have police officers on K12 campuses?

Especially since, y’know, not all of America lives in NYC or rides the subway. Contrary to what Gawker and so many other media employees may sometimes think.

But that’s...not the queen in that photo, right? It doesn’t look like her...

Fucking April Fucking Fools Fucking Day. Fuck it.

Fashionable hipster queers totally rock the fannypack. I used to have an amazing gold mesh one...

it’s bascially me, all the time, in gif form

Right? I am a fucking grown-ass adult with reasonable brain power and I can decide for myself, dammit! UGGGHHHHHH.

There’s this thing that we humans do where someone points out something that an organization with a long history has done, and then sometimes someone else points out another thing, a thing that may be an entirely different thing that occurred at a different time. But we understand its relevance because they are the…

I never said they did.

Put a bird poo on it.

Not too mention the selling of indulgences. I was already becoming bored with religion as a teen when I learned about that bit of gross corruption and just noped the heck out of church after that.

I first read it when I was 12 (double-bound edition with Jane Eyre) and I was so annoyed with the weird drama of the relationship that I peaced out halfway through it. Tried again in my 20s and then in my 30s and felt the same way. I TRIED, EMILY.

Jane Eyre was one of my favorite books when I was a weird little bookworm kid. Wuthering Heights was boring and stupid, still is.

That might be the best plaque that ever plaqued.