If only there was a detective available to help Allenby find the assailant. Someone exclusive to the islands.

No one has posted this yet?

Jalopnik has too many writers trying to copy Doug Demuro's Zany sense of humor.

That's even more dangerous than 30,000lbs. of bananas.

Of course, the answer is yes, because when you tell your friends you have a BMW, they're impressed, but when you tell them you have an Acura, they ask which dead relative you inherited it from.

I'm actually in Baltimore, so if you really want to drive it we can probably figure something out.

Correction: This post previously featured a picture of John Harbaugh. This is the image Darren Sanders that should have run:

Considering how credulously this was written, it feels weird to write this but, to quote Turkish: "I fail to see the correlation between losing 10 grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous, and a good deal."

This was done for the Marion Berry memorial night at Fedex field.

Rod, is that you?

It's always funny to me how people posting on an alleged enthusiast website are so scared of their cars.

It's funny: after more than 20 cars, some luxury some sport some exotic and all exciting and enthusiasty, I simply cannot replace the magic of a Porsche 911. It suffers from none of the drawbacks of the Ferrari and all of the benefits. Vette would be good too. Words for my Ferrari wrapup no doubt.

These sound strangely like things my girlfreind yells at me during sex, right down to the line about Baltimore.

Punctuation made all the difference here.

He is on the Browns. He is literally a professional at that.

You have forgotten one very key piece of the equation above - TIME Looking for the right used car takes a lot of time. Searching online, going to see it/test drive. Once you own it it is going to require more TLC than a new car. If you take it to your trusted mechanic you know have no car while they work on…

Harrison Ford is close enough, no? :)

That is so homophobic to suggest that he's going in last "so as not to make them feel uncomfortable." Unbelievable.

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"These Porsches, for instance, get all their speed from ground effects downforce. "