Can I touch you?

Worked for me. Thanks!

Well, it brought my boyfriend and moms on board with the show, and is my personal summer jam, so I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

Shut your filthy mouth. Heavy Boobs is a masterpiece.

Though I disagree strenuously, I appreciate the explanation, as I was surprised to see this song getting crapped on.

You're not my real dad!

*sigh*

As a veteran of the service industry, I can vouch for this—generally I was happy to bend the rules for polite patrons. Rude ones got the "SORRY, IT'S POLICY" treatment.

Maybe I'm just emotionally porous, but watching Cruise's squirt showdown never fails to make me feel misplaced vicarious shame.

The role Hot Dog was born to play.

How many player-piano rolls does that work out to?

Blouse-oleum.

The Prince that was promised!

They look like big, good, strong hands—don't they?

I only want a Duck Hunt movie if I'll be allowed to watch it with my gun pressed to the screen.

You don't know shit from Shinobi!

CATFACE MEOWMERS

If you'd managed to wedge in "Purple Rain-era" somehow, that would have cinched it for me. :)

[…]Prince Rogers Nelson, the musical genius whose recent death has left fans mourning worldwide.

features the words “Prince” but not “musical genius,” mourning,” or “Purple Rain,”