Surely you mean "another" opportunity for redemption? How is it our responsibility to continue to give him the benefit of the doubt after the MANY times he's expressed his total lack of remorse? Do you not realize that most of the "he's a piece of shit" sentiment is a result not so much of his initial act, but of his…

But without these kids, where would we find new LaCrosse talent?

It's going to be pretty weird when the world is full of old men named Todd.

I think Seven just has more…cachet.

bees

Don't be ridiculous. Obviously, Beyoncé gave birth to Gwyneth Paltrow.

As a drunk aunt, you're welcome.

Hush, hush.

Also, I'm curious about your mention of Schumer stealing jokes.

Be that as it may, it's not a contest.

Newark, for God's sake.

You know, this kind of reminds me of people who respond to Black Lives Matter with "all lives matter." Your statement, while technically true, is in this context irrelevant except as an attempt to shut people up.

BLOODY PEASANT

Resting against your chin, yes.

This is entirely understandable to me. For years my only friend was Farscape.

Neither do we!

Five is right out.

See also: Tig Notaro's cancer-humor set, Live (pronounced "live," not "live").

Cool it, George.

I am NOT a merry man.