That might have been rhetorical but I'm going to tell you anyways...

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

I hate when the dentist ask me how often I floss. Don't make me lie to you. You already know.

My best quitting story happened when I was working at a coffee place on my university campus. I had worked there for two years before I quit. The main reason I quit was because of this one girl. She was a terror. She would call people: stupid fucking bitches, dumb cunt, homophobic slurs, etc. She also was lazy as hell…

It's only a coincidence, but this is also how they tried to resuscitate that parrot Barry's kid microwaved.

They just got carried away because they're so concerned about ethics in journalism.

Those Cardinals fans love dominant pitching, but will gladly settle for three Ks.

I don't know if it cracks the Top Ten Worst Jets Timeouts.

Okay, that's the narrative. Paterno had reason to believe child rape was happening in his locker room but couldn't convince the AD or anyone else to call the cops because they were all too concerned about covering it up and protecting the university.

Look, Penn State, we know you're awful. Okay? We know. You can let us focus on Rice and Goodell for a couple days. Don't be jealous. It doesn't mean we've moved you down a peg on the list of terrible people.

Most people on the internet are in prison, right?