I am most disappointed about restricting the reaction shots and possible outfits of the audience.

Don’t wake me up from my dreams! ;)

Stephen King’s been known to do a few as well.

“And in tonight’s performance the role of Yorick’s skull will be played by none other than the esteemed playwright himself”

Ugh. Leave it alone. What difference does it make?

Alas, poor Shakespeare. I knew him, Jezebel: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

TL;dr version of this? “ Dear Networks: Can you make the debates like a reality show? Except, you know, much more scripted and fake.

I really want to see someone with a gong up there to enforce time limits. A big gong.

There are a couple of apostrophes in that letter that I’ll have nightmares about tonight.

No “lightening”? I thought the whiter, the better for these dudes.

Surely this was written by Democrats? To make them look bad? No one would be dumb enough to complain about the job they are applying for to the people doing the hiring, would they? There aren’t really that many potential leaders of the free world who are that clueless, are there?

I guess it’s a good thing that the president never has to answer hard questions.

This reality TV show sucks.

No ‘lightening’ [sic] or ‘gotcha’ questions, i.e., do NOT ask my candidate to answer any questions off-the-cuff, because this might cause him to have to think fast about an issue and construct a substantive response that’s not pre-scripted. Horrors.

I guess they should just start to have scripted “debates”.

Yes! Absolutely no frivolousness! I want the to see the candidates answer what they want their Secret Service code names to be or talk about their favorite apps, not talk about some boring shit like how they actually plan to run the country.

Gotcha Questions, i.e. actual information that you as a leader of a large country should know/have an opinion on, but you don’t because you’re not prepared/it reflects badly on you.

If they don’t want “lightening” rounds, can we have some “enlightening” rounds?

The David Miscavige Halloween costume is only made in onesies to fit David.

Oh look, someone in a wheelchair being used as a prop for a joke. How original, I’m sure they’ve never heard that before.