I want those shoes he’s wearing that picture.

Is there footage of that on YouTube or anywhere? Now I’m curious to see it.

Someone just tried to argue with me that Eddie Van Halen wasn’t a legend. I will never take that person’s opinions on music seriously again.

I don’t want him to die.... Just live long enough to lose to Biden and go to prison.

Thusly, there’s 10 days left before Smash is ruined forever.

I would’ve rather see Trump get re-elected than see Minecraft in Smash.

I am not playing Smash anymore. Of all the characters, they went with the one I never, ever wanted to see.

I’ve tried to figure out which of Trump’s sons is dumber, but I inevitably come to the conclusion that it’s a dead-heat.

That speech was so fascistic that Benito Mussolini would’ve said, “Lady, you need to calm down.”

So if Trump gets re-elected, then I have nowhere to run.

Count this white guy in the other 50% who want this nightmare to be over.

Trump should be less worried about what NBA players are doing and more about the fact that Deutsche Bank turned over his financial records to the Manhattan DA.

Console-exclusive content needs to die.

Mr. Gohmert, I’d like to introduce you to Karma. She can be a bitch sometimes.

Trump actually whined during today’s daily briefing about Dr. Fauci having a higher approval rating. A 70-something-year-old man basically going “WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?!”

Can’t wait for that whole family to go to actual jail.

So are we gonna be following up on Halo 5's cliffhanger, or what? Cortana turning Space Fascist and unleashing the Guardians is a pretty big thread to leave hanging.

Considering his goons at Portland got stymied by walls of moms and dads wielding hockey sticks and leaf blowers, they’re not gonna do shit in Chicago.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump is still allowed to pollute the world with his presence.