Darth Jackson

5/7 would get the hose again.

“was it raped”

So you’ve met my stepmother, I see.

Kara, Yoga is dead I’m sorry

You know? For once, I’m gonna just give it to ‘em. I believe it already; please, no video.

His players offered to help him down, but Mr. Carroll passed.

THANK you, for being the more articulate person i couldn’t even imagine being. Thank you for what you wrote.

Please keep doing that. Smile, say hello, ask how they are doing... As a Muslim woman I can tell you we appreciate that act more than you know. I’ve only had a few instances of someone saying something nasty to me in public but lately what I notice more is people looking away. They pull away and look away and the vibe…

Personally, I don’t think genuine human kindness is anything less than awesome (yet realize that’s not the prevailing cultural attitude).

This is so goddamned depressing. We have a large Islamic community in my city, and lately I’ve been trying to give every person who wears hijab an extra large smile when I pass them. It’s probably silly, but it’s one of the only things I feel that I can do (besides donating to the Dems).

Canada has 300 million paranoid, ignorant, heavily armed rednecks on its southern border. Damn right they need a defense minister.

Canada has a defense minister?!

There needs to be an on-going segment here called, “Meanwhile, In Canada....” that helps us to keep things in perspective.

...and then demanded that his followers dink blood and eat flesh. Definitely a zombie.

I was going to say- isn’t Zombie Jesus just.. regular Jesus?

Considering these people truly believe that Jesus was killed and then rose from the dead, you’d think they would be much more receptive to this very appropriate zombie nativity scene.

I want to punch you in the mouth for this joke, then I want to kiss it and make it better.

Embiid demanded a trade after Philadelphia wouldn’t let him take classes at Shirley Temple University.

It’s still not as good as Kelly Osbourne’s One Word.