Olympic Bench Press would be must see TV. The Mountain vs. Mark Henry vs. Half the NFL vs. 7 dudes names Thor vs. every Tongan/Samoan wrestler vs Joe Bob from Iowa. God the doping scandals alone would be amazing.

Skipping to the bottom to say The Hike is excellent and all of you fat bastards should read it immediately.

...I think you might want to see a podiatrist.

Being a fan of the Redskins is like being a Donald Trump voter. It signals you are either a racist, an idiot, or both.

Serious question. How did the tourists behave during the previous Japanese olympics?

How much do you want to bet that the dude who said that is unaware of the fact that being impeached doesn’t make you stop being President? Like, he’s probably in his early-mid 20s and doesn’t remember the Clinton impeachment and thinks that somehow it actually did something to Clinton, when in reality all it did was…

Voting for Trump on the assumption he’s going to be impeached? Alright.

What Bernie Or Bust voters don’t get is that Trump wouldn’t be setting the agenda. Trump’s campaign made it clear that his VP would be the one setting policy, according to Kasich staffers.

a) Fastpass is pretty much a necessity at any theme park now. I used to go to Six Flags Great Adventure once or twice a summer when I was in college, and it is ABSOLUTELY worth the extra $30 or $40 or whatever it was to be able to skip lines. Holy crap was it worth it

Trump wants that Godfather scene so bad, the one with folks kissing his ring. He’s got it from Christie, from Gentle Ben, from lil’ Marco, and many of the other asshat candidates that ran. That Cruz won’t gives Trump an enemy that will make him seethe. If Trump wins he’ll have Cruz & his sycophants working daily to…

Of course, roughly half of them figure their invisible friend in the sky will intelligently design tougher brains at some point.

“A slim majority of American adults, 44 percent to 43 percent, disapprove of their own child playing tackle football.”

I hope it’s the same intern who designed the original Trump-Pencetration logo. I’m sure it’s a staffer who also consistently tells Trump that his “hair is looking great today!”

She plagiarized Michelle Obama and rickrolled the RNC. I’m convinced that her speech writer is a 100% Grade A Troll. And I love them.

Did you accidentally go to a local arts and crafts fair and not the RNC?

( 1 You can’t walk into the convention

I plan on building a mosque in Donald Trump’s back fucking yard.

Maybe they could also put chips in the players’ helmets to study the force of-

Thank you for being there so we don’t have to be.