You're like if Pavlov had a poodle.
Twelve year old little resplendent decided to try blow drying her hair with a round brush to give it body, like 'Teen' magazine suggested. (This was in the pleistocene era, kids.)
Jesus motherfucking tap dancing Christ on a goddamned cracker. There are no goddamned words except motherfucking curses. Shit.
When I was about 15, I dyed my hair jet black. Which made me look like I was not only dead, but in advanced stages of decay. After a few months and a few inches of my natural (dark-blond) color growing in at the roots, I tried bleaching all of it platinum.
When I was about 9 there was a lice outbreak at my school. Every ody had to be deliced and treated, etc. and my Mom decided I would switch my hairdo from my high ponytail with curls (think Shirley Temple curls) to a braid coiled atop my head. No big. I must add here that I have enough curly hair for six people and ay…
You may remember this one from last year.
Although there's a field of five in the directing and writing categories, and a field of 9 for Best Picture, there are three real contenders for the best film this year: "Boyhood," "Birdman" and "Grand Budapest Hotel."
So right after a shitty break up this summer I hit up an old booty call from OKCupid. He was really cool, but the sex. Oh god.
My very first.
Texas gave you Matthew McConaughey's abs, too. Now you apologise and thank Texas!
The truth of any internet search, ever:
I am clumsy and impulsive, a dangerous combination, so I have many a tale of unwarranted injury. But the most ridiculous way I have gotten hurt would be by doing nothing. I have weak ankle tendons, which means my ankles have a tendency to roll (as in, my ankle will just bend inward, and suddenly I'll be putting all my…
My mom once fell down the stairs at a baseball game, and chose to hang on to her beer instead of catching herself on the hand rail. She sprained her ankle really badly, but by god she did not spill her beer.
thank you for strengthening my resolve to never do the dishes.
This isn't me, but it was a guy I was dating at the time. We had vermicelli for dinner. There was one little dried bit of vermicelli stuck to the botom of the pot. Boyfriend, who was always cleaning pots and pans with his hands first to "save sponges" (WTF even is that) was cleaning it and decided to scrape the piece…
In 7th grade I was trying to catch up to my friend by our lockers, so I jogged over to her and shouted "Kenna, wait up!" As I did so, I rolled my ankle, and felt it crack. I was just wearing flip flops! (Not even those sky high Rocket Dog shoes that were popular at the time). Teachers had to carry me to the office,…
I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.
Oh Christ, where do I begin?