I'm proficient in WordPerfect and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing.

"Okay. Detente."

"Aaand ... I just turned 30! I know the exact minute I was born because it was in my mom's lawsuit against the roller coaster."

She's starred in a few Harmony Korine flicks and that's enough for me to hate her.

Today on imgur, I saw this post that's very much in your vein. A guy with amazing ass strength.

"I am writing this while drinking rum and eating Cadbury mini eggs in bed."

Gonna start with what Ava DuVernay tweeted last night:
"An episode like this isn't easy. Isn't easy to write. Isn't easy to direct. Isn't easy to get on air. I appreciate the effort."

After that speech I called him a complete racist fuck. As soon as he said "you people" I knew where it was heading. His complaints that he didn't get enough respect echo EXACTLY what a bunch of white cops were echoing in the wake of Ferguson. I definitely believe his speech was meant to vilify him and it was…

Yeah, I didn't see the officer's speech as sympathetic so much as it was an attempt to lay bare how those assholes really think. He was basically screaming "respect my authoritah!"

"When will the white community leaders stand up and condemn this epidemic of serial killers?"

Dear Certain White People (you know who you are),

The basket thing is funny but it's the dismissive gesture she gives towards the supermarket employee that had me cracking up.

That is because you are not closed minded and are freaking awesome.

I loved Selfie. Freaking loved it.

I gotta give a special shout out to the two little brothers. They're god damn perfect.

She's tied with Bow from Black-ish for me.

Jessica's paranoia and the whole "Have the party here. We know there aren't any child molesters in this house", was direct from my Mexican mom's playbook. It gave me fuzzies to see a sitcom parent going nuts over the evening news and being worried about their kids. Not like Fullhouse where the kids got to GO TO THE…

This show is probably my favorite new comedy of the 2014/2015 Season. Perfectly cast, sharply written, and the jokes just don't stop.

likewise! I love my jawbone. It's reminders to drink more and eat fiber essentially led to what I can only believe amounts to crapping out 10 lbs in two weeks. I'm not complaining.

The shame factor of those things is no joke. I lost mine and actually ended up replacing it because seeing how goddamn low those numbers were now that I work in an office terrified the shit out of me. Not having them shoved in my face multiple times a day made it easier to be in denial.