Oh, man, four children? Single? Cerebral palsy? She needs this. I hope this changes her life in so many ways. I'm getting giddy just thinking about the relief she's probably feeling. I hope she buys a huge home in the Caribbean with a live in nurse and her own personal house boy, and only let's immediate,…

See, I heard it was better to take the staggered payout so you can get the irresponsible spending out of your system the first year. Then, you still have $$$ coming.

First thought: Man, she's freaking cool.

Its a dick sandwich.

The moment at which you start screaming and hurling swears at an employee is the moment at which you deserve absolutely no sympathy or understanding whatsoever.

Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

nah, the most punk rock thing ever was that girl in L7 taking out her tampon and throwing it in the crowd at Reading.

What song did your dead mom put on a mix tape for you?

Dude, I am a hard-core atheist and I LOVE Spirit in the Sky. That's how good that song is; it makes an atheist happily sing along to "I've got a friend in Jesus!"

But it's where you're going to go when you die (when you die).

Ohh, how wrong you are.

This might be first real life situation that's impossible to porn parody.

JWP. (Jesus would puke).

Wrong. Bathing and cleanliness, like many other things in our country, are big business. Large scale media campaigns create anxiety over body odor, causing us to think we need a whole host of products to stay clean.

Honey, if you're husband is showering 2-3 times a day, maybe he's pulling a Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

As long as Modern Family doesn't win anything, this night might be a success.

Did she lift Cornelius Hawthornes toupee?

I got it!! They sent an email back within an hour or two that they had added a month to my prime account. Sweet. I'm going to have to really pay attention now and do this every time they have a late shipment.