“Did you go to high school?”

[Kicks in door]

When daylight savings time ended, he got an extra hour of jail. I can’t explain the rest.

Right? Who would ever believe a New England Patriot is capable of murder?

Geez, more like Brandon Downer, amirite? 

He actually resigned several weeks ago, but he didn’t think he had to report it to the school.

Well, that’s Life.

“Just be glad he's not into Windex" -Eric Clapton

This is what middle managers think smart people sound like.

Because that’s where black people in the West Indies came from Nigeria, or west Africa probably.

How’s Torts going this semester?

I welcome our robot overlords. 

Unemployed for THE rest of his life. 

Obama lost more offices for the Democratic Party since prior to WWII. Who’s fault is it that he’s that bad at politics he couldn’t maintain the coalition that voted him into power? The voters, or Obama?

You have 17 years to craft a public statement and that’s what you come up with?

Since Rooney stopped the 96th minute open net game winner more than two months ago, Orlando has not won a game and has scored four goals total. He killed them.

Finally, a reason to dislike Kobe.

Unfortunate that she was standing so close, but of course hindsight is 20.

I don’t really follow tennis, but I enjoy these clips because I like to pretend the players are tiny little athletes playing on a normal-sized ping pong table.

“Jaguars Junction” is an independent source of football analysis unaffiliated with any professional sports franchise.