By grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of warrbay, what an article.

Hell just got a whole lot classier.

Watch What We Do In the Shadows. Funny, sweet, bizarre. Jemaine is good but Taika Waititi is awesome!

They have tons of diversity! They got dipshits, fucksticks, pricks, douchebags, dickheads, dinguses, and assholes. They got hucksters, hustlers, con artists, flimflam men, and liars. They got schmos, yutzes, putzes, and schmucks. They got morons, idiots, dumdums, and shitferbrains. They got racists, sexists,…

Ben Carson: Toss-up between a pebble, a hammer, or this thing.

He unveiled his education policy tonight! He was all, “I love the poorly educated.”

Self-Proclaimed Democrats / Progressives, get your shit together now. Like, NOW.

This is like when you watch the scary movie alone at night cause you’re a badass and don’t take shit but then later you turn on ALL the lights to go to the bathroom.

In this case, “deeply flawed” and “highly political” pretty clearly means “anything that accurately reflects a reality I find inconvenient.”

We are ALL Neil deGrasse Tyson’s subordinates and you know it.

I bet they have a pickpocket monkey living in their crawspace. That seems the most logical explanation to me.

Obama is a statesman of another time. He truly cares about people, he’s incredibly sincere, and he has more class than most.

Won’t the jury have to be made up of people he hasn't raped? That seems like it could be a problem.

Roost, chickens. ROOST.

Yes! The reading comprehension is very low in this one! Like, grade five low. I taught middle school literature for a bit, and the question “why is Hermione’s face described as white” could conceivably be a question in one of our standardized tests. I feel confident that “because she is caucasian” wouldn’t qualify as…

I’m 48 and I just found out that wasn’t true because you said so now.