Didn't Futurama do all this first?

I feel like this .gif should headline every post regardless of content. There is something about it that just transcends deadspin

Orange Tie guy is Alec Scheiner, president of the team. Nerd guy is Joe Banner, the guy who was his boss at the time.

It was always Wall Ball when I was a kid.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Tink, and wish her nothing but success and a happy life... but why are we being pushed with these super niche-y rap acts, that only the hardcore-est of people would have heard of or would be seeking out?

Seriously... how/why does this shit keep landing on Deadspin?

I know music is subjective, but this is undoubtedly bad. I feel like Timbaland just raided Gawker headquarters, got your login info, and posted this article.

I just like this:

Couldn't he do the Western Conference Playoffs then and just cover Golden State?

If loving Bill Walton is wrong then I don't want to be right.

I think we can all agree that Bill Walton is living his best life.

The last thing the NFL needs from a PR standpoint: more Redskins in the NFC East.

Well, at least Seattle fans will get to see a few dunks now.

Not sure which beating was worse: the one he laid on the MSU players or the one he laid on the English language.

Seems fitting that Rose shares a space with the Virgin Mary. Both of them can be out of commission for 9 months without ever being touched.

Have You Been Dunked?

If you're running the spread offense, I can't imagine anything more spread out that placing your players all over the country on different teams.

Lynch's agent: "9 million signing bonus, 1 million base salary, 1 million roster bonus."

Very important note: in a climactic scene near the end, xXx uses a "heat seeking missile" to blow up a cigarette-smoking sniper. The missile launcher? A VHS camcorder with PVC pipe glued to it, painted hunter green.