Yeah, I decided not to be the asshole who says, “Maybe like the rest of us you just got fat?” right off the bat.

My feet do that to shoes. Anything that lasts more than 6 months is a miracle.

Man, I’m thrilled if I’m still wearing something after a year and it’s not fallen apart already.

Reminds me of Nikki’s Eva pilot look:

Uprooted by Naomi Novik. It’s an adult fairy tale loosely based on Baba Jaga stories, has multiple kick ass female characters, an eeeeeevil sentient forest, a plucky heroine who does things her way, and a hilariously cranky wizard who is the love child of Howl and Severus Snape.

There is a reason we call it Pennsyltucky, with my apologies to the folks of the great state of Kentucky.

I did kind of say that to him. That I emphasized, but I didn’t forgive him for what he chose.

My dad had a near death experience and found Jesus (again), and he’s really not changed much — he can be superficially pleasant, but underneath that he is still a self-absorbed asshole.

... in the local news?!?

<3

No, it won’t. As I told him at lunch, I can empathize, I can wish him no ill, but I can’t forgive him because he needs to live with the concequences of his actions, not just me.

Nope, I did tell this before, but it seemed appropriate for this as well.’

My dad did the female equivalent for a while, which was call me a whore/slut when I wore make up, and ugly without it.

Sending you awkward backpats back.

Surprisingly, my dad’s heart actually grew 3 sizes... and is now the size of a baked potato!

Thanks :)

Like I get most of these are going to be funny, but I have so many terrible terrible stories about my former alcoholic father. I think I’ve told this one before, but I can’t help but tell it again.

Yeah, my dad was one of those as well. I have a few that are more of the “laugh instead of crying” variety.

ARGH THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I CAME TO POST.

Have you read Uprooted? Because the cranky wizard mentor in that is p. much fanfiction misunderstood good guy Snape and it rules so hard.