He's got a tell. His nose sticks out after every lie. And this guy lies a lot.

James Spader smirks from the back of the courtroom.

"You mean to tell me that this sick bastard has no strings to hold him down?"

Zuckerberg already looks like the Simpsons Season 1 version of Zuckerberg so that's saying something.

No, but I sure know how to beat the Borg.

Sometimes a little tough love is all it takes to make a comeback

To be fair, robbing a jewelry store and telling them to make you a grill is not exactly rational behavior.

You mean like… the world?

He looks like if a violated restraining order became a real boy.

I thought I mentioned the vague sense of purpose…

Preemie Todd

My penis is all too well acquainted with hands. And sometimes I scream at it like John McEnroe when it under performs.

Tucker Max's entire body of work is pretty much just future evidence, waiting on the most rudimentary of discovery.

I do hope you're referring to his records. Otherwise his estate might have some tough questions for you.

Record Store Day After Tomorrow

Vinyl is great, but they were kind of like the original fidget spinner.

I remember using that shoddy program to try and copy records a while back. The experience of getting it to record properly was like my very own Audacity of Hope.

Well they were playing with house money

Ah, the 4th of July. If I recall correctly, Jesus was blown up while trying to smother a rouge M-80 that some teenagers lit too close to the church. Talk about dying for our sins.

I wonder how many devastated former factory towns this will revitalize. Not to mention the vinyl miners who will finally have a way of supporting themselves again.