Poison Ivy teams up with Morrisey to make sure nobody is allowed to eat anything.

In the spider man games you got to play as peter parker and take photos of terrifying sewer lizards and then run away. I always appreciated that.

Spiders are trash and humans are trash too. Whoever thought to mix them together should have known that the end result would be more menacing trash.

Back in 2002, my friend got the Spider-Man game for his Xbox and it was pretty badass. Then his parents got divorced and we weren't allowed over to his house because his dad had "anger management issues."

There's enough to go around

That can be phase 2. Phase 1 will be a lot cheaper and quicker.

Or some minority report pre-cogs telling tom cruise whose dick to cut off

The Penguin murders half the kardashians after they mock his appearance on television.

Harley Quinn overdoses on molly at Sasquatch and breaks up with the joker over snapchat.

"Mother Nature has ways of shutting it down if it's legitimate"

"Planet Earth allegedly shut down over non consensual sex acts"

Alex Jones calling someone a psychopath is like my Middle School Vice-Principal calling someone a sexual predator.

Alfred loses the Wayne fortune in a music festival ponzi scheme. Killer Croc teaches crossfit classes. The Mad Hatter has access to modern health care and slowly but surely learns to lead a normal, productive life. Bane becomes the darling of Major League Baseball.

Aruba, Jamaica, Ooohh I wanna take ya on the freeway during rush hour because the app said to.

Uber should have purchased the flat rate deal on CEOs when they had the chance. Now they're going to have to pay full price until July.

I'm pretty sure that Donald Trump is the only member of his immediate family that hasn't seen Donald Trump's dick in the last 5 years.

Ivanka Trump is essentially a human sweat shop. Please bear with me as I explain my reasoning. They are both filled with the most foul rats.

I've never microwaved my brain before, but reading this newswire made me feel as though I had. I feel rather unpleasant and no longer have any concept of human language left.

Rape accusations tryna drain me of my energy.

Started from the BTTM now we find ourselves in the midst of the fallout from some very credible sounding rape accusations.