Stories about elderly gay couples finally being able to marry result in me crying about 97% of the time, topped only by heroic dog stories (98.5% chance of crying).

These gentlemen are goddamn adorable. Wishing them so much continued happiness!

Every single story about these guys. Every single story.

The not-Norman Reedus one (Ya hear that, Sean Patrick Flannery? You’re the fucking “other” Boondock Saint, now, you putz).

I thought the girl who got treated badly by one of the Boondocks Saints would be here. He was such a dick to her.

Or if he were the imagined specter of trans women molesting your daughters in public restrooms, which is what Michelle Duggar claimed would happen if a Fayetteville, Arkansas, anti-discrimination law passed. The bill failed due in large part to Michelle’s intense lobbying based on the claim that trans women are out to…

When speaking about Michael Brown, a teenager, Huckabee called him ‘a thug’ and said he could have avoided his fate if Brown would have behaved himself. So apparently it’s ok to shoot black teenagers, but white teenage abusers deserve our respect and some privacy. Are people even listening to themselves anymore?

It’s a perfect description, at uni I knew a guy who loved Meyer, once when smoking up in his room he picked up his guitar turned to us and said “these six strings saved my soul”.

Yeah, in the sense that TLC is hypocritical as fuck.

He needs to come off it because I had to google who he even is right now.

Sorry.

Browsing Craigslist one time for furniture, someone was advertising a Chester Drawers for sale. WTF are Chester drawers? Oh. Chest OF drawers.

I finally got the joke! I assumed it was some sort of Aussie slang, but now I realise there are people in this world who think a cappuccino is actually spelled/pronounced “cup of chino”. Thanks, Yahoo Answers!

God: “Sure, just let me finish this earthquake I have going on in Nepal first”

“Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about, please.”

It's about ethics in cake decorating.

Concur. Also his arms seem to be the exact same shade, and he's also the same color in the Bambi one. I think it's just lighting/wig and mattifying powder/makeup.

No lie, I am regularly late to work for a variety of reasons, but one of them is absolutely that it makes my cat grumpy when I leave. When I wake up she always comes over to cuddle and purr, and if I abandon her to get ready for work she pouts and does the angry cat tail swish of doom.

Legal liability maybe?

I have to confess that I by far prefer the Jell-O-ish cranberry sauce - that, when you shake it out of the can with a "splut," hilariously retains the shape - to the real thing, which I don't think I even ate until some time in high school.