He needs to come off it because I had to google who he even is right now.

Sorry.

Browsing Craigslist one time for furniture, someone was advertising a Chester Drawers for sale. WTF are Chester drawers? Oh. Chest OF drawers.

I finally got the joke! I assumed it was some sort of Aussie slang, but now I realise there are people in this world who think a cappuccino is actually spelled/pronounced “cup of chino”. Thanks, Yahoo Answers!

God: “Sure, just let me finish this earthquake I have going on in Nepal first”

“Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about, please.”

When the article started, saying she began this whole thing 19 years ago, I figured that must be a mistake. 19 years ago?! There was no internet then, no streaming of anything, no webcams. There was no way any of that was going on, so 19 years ago had to be a mistake. Did you mean 19 months ago? 9 years ago?

It's about ethics in cake decorating.

It's the first and last ten minutes that I'd gladly get up and pee during.

Concur. Also his arms seem to be the exact same shade, and he's also the same color in the Bambi one. I think it's just lighting/wig and mattifying powder/makeup.

No lie, I am regularly late to work for a variety of reasons, but one of them is absolutely that it makes my cat grumpy when I leave. When I wake up she always comes over to cuddle and purr, and if I abandon her to get ready for work she pouts and does the angry cat tail swish of doom.

Well, they say it's best to catch it early.

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

YOU LIVE HERE, TOO!

My husband's excuse for not putting away the dishes out of the dishwasher: "I don't know where they go."

I am thinking Lucy Hale because
1. She is photographed often with a bff who is by no means "fat" but probably what stupid magazines would call fat.
2. Had a very serious relationship w/ some disney guy
3. She sings!

Sorry everyone. I went through 7 (YES, SEVEN) whole pages of Perez Hilton's website combing for possible answers, and nothing fits.

Legal liability maybe?

They're calorie-dense, mostly fat with some protein.

I have to confess that I by far prefer the Jell-O-ish cranberry sauce - that, when you shake it out of the can with a "splut," hilariously retains the shape - to the real thing, which I don't think I even ate until some time in high school.