Dunno about you but I like my lunch a bit bigger than that...

Best thing I've ever done. If I could go back & tell 20+ and 30+ me about it, I'd be on that time traveller fast than a bullet!

Yes. Breasts=fat=lighter than water.

I'm not fearful. I'm aware. I live a perfectly full life & don't fear men in general. Experience has simply taught me when a compliment is just that & when it's an intrusion.

My discussion of street crime as an analogy was obviously a poor one as my point's been lost.

To be clear, I'm not concluding anything in particular about him. I'm explaining the kind of behaviour that waves a red flag to me.

The problem is that the slave "owner" is the oppressor in that example, while the woman receiving the "compliments" is the oppressed in that example.

Personally, I give up my seat for a pregnant woman because, more likely than not, she will be more tired than me or, on a jerky bus, she has greater risks if she's injured than me. She feels safer or more comfortable if she takes my seat, hopefully.

When a man is:

Public transport is normally ok but when it's not, it's really not. Once, on a packed bus, an old man behind me stroked my hair. First time, assumed it was accidental. He did it another twice- at which point, I turned & said, "Please don't touch my hair again." He just grinned, creepily.

Thank you!

Agree. Red flag, right there.

"The thing is, every guy I know who I've brought this up with has presented the same "opposing view" that you gave above, as though I'm just not thinking about things from the right perspective. It would be such a nice change to have my concerns and frustrations and feelings about this validated by male friends/family…

If we accept the notion that the complimentor's intention is to make the complimented FEEL good about herself/the day/the world in general....and yet she doesn't....then how has the compliment achieved anything? How else do we judge its appropriateness than by how the recipient feels?

At least your last sentence is correct.

Good god in holy hell.

:applauds. Loudly:

"Many times, by giving a compliment, one person just wants to make the world nicer for another person. "

Sadly, I agree with just about every word you say, also based on personal & family experience. I also have several close friends who are medics.